The Name is Adrian Shapiro if you please & even if you don’t please
Episode 228
Fade In: Interior. Ginny’s office. Ginny is standing at her desk as Adrian is standing opposite her.
Ginny: Who are you again?
Adrian: Cut it okay. I’m Adrian Shapiro. I represent all the women who have ever been raped, harassed sexually or otherwise or assaulted or done worse to their for want of a better word mate. You must have seen me on the tv. You do have one here in this town?
Ginny: You’ll have to come back tomorrow. Your past visiting hours.
Adrian: Listen um–
Ginny: Chief Ginny Cusack.
Adrian: Listen, Chief, I’m here to see my client and I want to him now. You’re not going to deny my client a chance to speak to his attorney are you? There is a judge I could call and once she’s done with you I don’t know how much longer you’d be a Chief.
Chief: (Gets the keys): I’ll get him.
Adrian: We’re going to need a room.
Chief: For what?
Adrian: To talk. Do you have a room where I can consult privately with my client?
Chief: The only rooms here are this office, the bathrooms, the outer office where the cops sit and the cells.
Adrian: Okay, then I’ll use this room.
Chief: This is my office.
Adrian: Sorry to inconvenience you, Chief, but I do need to speak to him and I’m not about to do it in his cell or the john. You can go get him. I’ll wait.
(Ginny opens the door and exits. Adrian picks up her phone and dials.)
CUT-TO: Interior. O’Leary’s. Melanie is at the bar with David.
Melanie: You sound excited about it. I’m glad.
David: I am too. I mean I know it’s not much but–
Melanie: Don’t belittle your accomplishments, David. You did this on your own and I’m proud of you.
David: Thanks, Mom.
Melanie: Table seven needs a waiter. (He exits as her phone rings and she answers.) Hi, Adrian. I didn’t know you were in town yet.
CUT-TO: A split screen between Melanie and Adrian.
Adrian: Is that what this is? My God I’m in Hicksville USA.
Melanie: Don’t be like that. I told you it was a cute little town.
Adrian: There’s nothing cute about it. I’ve offered you New York, California, Boston even and you want to live here?
Melanie: What’s wrong with here?
Adrian: Melanie, you know how fond I am of you but you have your head in the clouds. There’s only one street lamp and I bet the light is busted.
Melanie: Where are you right now?
Adrian: I’m in Chief Cusack’s office waiting for her to bring in James. Once I’m done with him then I’ll go see his family–
Melanie: You’ll love them. They are great people.
Adrian: Ah-huh. That’s what you said about this place Maple Tree–
Melanie: Maple Falls, Adrian. You’re just being difficult.
Adrian: You can spank me later. You got a new bed right?
Melanie: Yes. It makes the bedroom small but it’s big enough for both of us.
Adrian: Good. I’ll see you after I meet his family. Bye. (She hangs up and we stay with Adrian. The door opens and Jim enters in handcuffs with Ginny.) Take off the cuffs.
Ginny: I’d like to but it’s against regulations. He’s a confessed killer.
Adrian: He isn’t going to kill me. Take them off. (Ginny takes them off.) I want time alone with my client.
Ginny: You got a half hour. (She exits)
Adrian: Hello, James.
Jim: Hi, Adrian.
(They embrace)
Adrian: I’ve missed you. I didn’t realize how much until you walked into the room.
Jim: I feel the same.
Adrian: No you don’t but it’s just like you to say it. Why should you miss me? You’re still married to Kathy? (She sits and so does he.)
Jim: Yes.
Adrian: And you have how many kids?
Jim: Two. Colleen and Patrick.
Adrian: They must be grown now. Kathy wasn’t pregnant when you and I went to law school together was she?
Jim: No. They are grown mostly. Colleen’s eighteen. She’s going to Harvard.
Adrian: Harvard! Wow!
Jim: It’s on a full scholarship.
Adrian: Great. She’s must be really smart (he nods) and what about the other one?
Jim: Patrick? He’s a senior at Maple Falls High. He’s had a big year. He came out.
Adrian: Oh, he’s gay? So’s your sister right? Paula Tremayne. The movie star.
Jim: Yeah.
Adrian: That’s weird because she was married to the guy you said you killed.
Jim: Yeah.
Adrian: You didn’t say you killed him because she came out as gay, did you?
Jim: You know me better than that.
Adrian: I’m kidding. Listen, James, I’m here because I owe you my life.
Jim: What are you talking about?
Adrian: You know what I’m talking about. (He shakes his head.) Do you remember that night when we studying late and drinking and we got shit faced? I told you that night that I was gay. Not that you wanted me or anything. I mean you loved Kathy and you still do, am I right? (He nods) So the next day when we were hung over I asked you not to tell anyone about me being gay and you promised you wouldn’t. It would have killed my mother and you let me come out when I wanted too. You truly saved my life, James, and now I’m here to save yours.
Jim: I don’t know how you’re going to do that. I killed him.
Adrian: No you didn’t. You may have wanted to kill him but you couldn’t and you didn’t.
Jim: (He rises): I’m telling you–
Adrian: (Angrily): Bull! Sit down. (He sits) You’ve gotten yourself into a real fucking mess and I’m here in Mayberry to get you out of it. Now tell me about this guy–
Jim: (Angrily): Noel Tremayne.
Adrian: Right. Him. Go!
CUT-TO: Interior. Kathy’s kitchen. She is cleaning up from dinner as Colleen sits at her table doing homework and Patrick is drying the dishes.
Kathy: (Looks at her children): Colleen, aren’t you going to see Andrew?
Colleen: The last time I went by Ms. Eaton wouldn’t let me in, remember?
Kathy: Then call him.
Colleen: I’ve been calling him and all I get is voicemail. Besides I don’t feel like going out tonight.
Kathy: (Taking the dishes from Patrick): Thanks. (She starts to put them away. He runs over and takes them from her and starts to do it.) What about you, Patrick? Aren’t you going to call your friends and go out?
Patrick: I don’t have any friends. Remember, Mom, I’m gay in Maple Falls.
Kathy: Oh, Patrick, I’m sure you have lots of friends.
Patrick: One of my ex-besties is coming back to Maple Falls.
Kathy: Who would that be?
Patrick: Alyson Wembly or is it Frangelico?
Kathy: Isn’t she married now?
Patrick: (Shrugs): Imagine marrying a Count. I’d like to do that someday. Wouldn’t you, Col?
Colleen: Huh?
Patrick: Marry a Count?
Colleen: No.
Kathy: What are you reading?
Colleen: It’s on confessed killers who were found innocent. I’m going to get Daddy out of prison. He didn’t kill Noel.
Kathy: I know he didn’t, honey.
Dot: (Entering from the stairs): We all know that Colleen. Your Father is an innocent man. (To Kathy) Declan is fast asleep.
Colleen: If it hadn’t been for Declan Daddy wouldn’t be in prison right now.
Dot: Colleen, talking like that doesn’t do any good. Your mother is upset enough as it is.
Colleen: I’m just speaking the truth.
Kathy: No, Colleen, the truth is that Declan is now part of our family. You’d better get used to it.
(Knock on the door.)
Dot: Who could that be at this hour?
(Kathy opens the door to Adrian.)
Adrian: Hi, Kathy. It’s been a long time.
Kathy: Adrian! (She opens the door and Adrian enters and they hug and then they break. Sees Adrian looking around) Oh this is my mother Dorothy Shea and these are my children Colleen and Patrick.
Adrian: It’s nice to meet you all.
Dot: You too.
Colleen: Hi.
Patrick: Hi.
Kathy: Adrian is going to be your father’s lawyer.
Patrick: Aren’t you the attorney for the stars?
Adrian: I’ve represented a few yes.
Patrick: And now you’re representing Dad?
Adrian: I know your father from law school. You don’t owe me a nickel for any of this by the way.
Kathy: No, Adrian, we must–
Adrian: Kathy, stop. Let me do it my way, huh? I love James, you, the kids look great and your mother seems nice.
Dot: Thank you.
Adrian: You’re welcome. Could I get a cup of coffee and we can all sit down and talk?
Kathy: Sure. Did you eat? I made some chop suey.
Adrian: Okay. I don’t what that is but I’ll eat it.
Kathy: Here sit down. I’ll microwave your dinner. (She crosses to the refrigerator and opens it and starts getting Adrian’s dinner.)
Adrian: Thanks. (They all sit at the table.) Colleen, your father says you are going to Harvard and you are determined to get him free is that right?
Colleen: Yes.
Adrian: Good. I’m going to need your help. Do you have a car?
Colleen: Yes. Why?
Adrian: You can take me around this town tomorrow so I can figure out exactly what’s going on here.
Colleen: I have classes til one but I can pick you up after that.
Adrian: Good. Meet me at O’Learys.
Dot: Drinking that early in the day?
Adrian: I don’t drink anymore. I’m A. A. I’m staying there.
Dot: What? O’Leary’s isn’t a hotel.
Kathy: (Serving Adrian her dinner): She’s Melanie’s friend, too. She’s the lawyer Melanie said she could get for us.
Dot: (Understanding): Oh!
Adrian: Bingo! Do you have any bread and butter?
Kathy: I’ll get it.
Adrian: This looks great. (She takes a mouthful.) It’s delicious. It’s going to give me gas but it’s great.
Dot: Really.
Adrian: Now, Patrick, what are you doing tomorrow?
Patrick: I have school until two.
Adrian: Good. Colleen, you pick me up and then we go get Patrick. You two can show me the ins and outs of Maple Falls. This is going to be a family effort. I know James said his father owns a corner store so we’ll go there first and then we’ll go see your Aunt Paula. Kathy, tomorrow go to the jail to see your husband first thing.
Kathy: I’ve been wanting to go but he says if I keep doing that they might take away Declan.
Adrian: They won’t. I know a Judge friend who’ll stop that nonsense. It’s very important you be visible for your husband. You all believe he didn’t kill Noel, right?
All: Yes.
Adrian: Good. That includes you, Mrs. Shea?
Dot: Yes. I said yes along with everyone else.
Adrian: I just wanted to be certain. (Pointing to the dinner) What’s this again, Kathy?
Kathy: Chop suey.
Adrian: Delicious. (She takes another mouthful.)
Fade to Black