Man Trouble

Episode 17

Fade In: Close up of Peter.

Peter: My God, you’re drunk.

We pull back to show that we are in Peter’s law office as Patsy is putting her things away in her desk.

Patsy: No I’m not.  A little tipsy maybe but not drunk. (She hiccups.) Oooo.

Peter: I assume Roxann is drunk as well.

Patsy: I don’t think so and I’m not drunk, Peter.  Ladies don’t get drunk and I am above all first and foremost a lady.  Some times I wish I wasn’t.  (She laughs.) Isn’t that funny?  You’re not laughing.

Peter: (Dryly): I see no mirth in it.

Patsy: (Sing song): The boss man is angry.

Peter: Patsy, sit down.  I want to have a word with you.

Patsy: Well that’s good, Peter, because I want to have a word with you, too.

Announcer: Patsy Brewster is about to surprise her fiancée Peter Andrews with a side of her he has never seen before in a town called Briarwood.

Fade In: Interior.  Peter Andrews study.   Kayleigh is seated at the piano as Maria is at the door.

Kayleigh: What time is it again, Maria?

Maria: It’s three o’clock, Kayleigh.

Kayleigh: Maybe she forgot about me.  Maybe she’s not coming at all.  Could you call her and ask her where she is?

Maria: I did call and tried to leave a voicemail but her mail box is full.  Now don’t fret, Kayleigh.  I’m sure she’ll be here soon.  (Doorbell rings.)  See that’s probably her now.  I’ll go get it.

CUT-TO: Interior.  Peter’s foyer.  Maria enters and answers the front door.  It is Roxann in her Meg disguise.

Maria: Where have you been?  She’s been waiting for you.

Roxann: I’m sorry.

Roxann scurries past Maria and into the study.

CUT-TO: Interior.  Peter’s study.  Roxann is running in as Kayleigh sits at the piano.

Roxann: I’m sorry I’m late.  The traffic is terrible–

Kayleigh: That’s all right.  I don’t mind.  I’m just glad you are here.  (Hugging Roxann, who sat down on the piano bench with her.)  You can stay the whole hour can’t you?

Roxann: (Hugging Kayleigh): Of course.

Kayleigh: That will be all, Maria.

Maria: Yes, Kayleigh.  (She exits and we follow her out the room back into the foyer.)

Roxann: (Off): Now where were we?

Kayleigh: (Off): Here.

We hear the piano play as Maria closes the door.

Maria’s voice: What does she want here and why is she so desperate to see Kayleigh?  I’m sure Amy knows but she’d never tell me.  I must get her out-of-the-way if I am ever to get Peter for myself but how?

CUT-TO: Peter’s office.  Interior.

Peter: You have something you want to say to me?  What is it?

Patsy: You first, Peter.

Peter: No I insist.

Patsy: Well I was talking to Roxann at lunch–it was a wonderful lunch the food is delicious and atmosphere is breathtaking.

Peter: (Scoffs): Breathtaking?  At Rocco’s?  Go on.

Patsy: (A little uneasy): Oh, okay.  Well I  was saying to Roxann how we never go out to eat.  We always eat at your house which is fine.

Peter: But?

Patsy: (More uneasy): But I’d like to go out with you somewhere.

Peter: Rocco’s is very expensive.  I’m surprised Roxann had the money for it considering how broke she claims to be.

Patsy: (More uneasy): We don’t have to go to Rocco’s we can go anywhere I don’t care as long as we go out–

Peter: (Condescending): Patsy, I work hard all day long.  The last thing I want to do at night is scurry around Briarwood taking you places to eat.

Patsy: It’s not about the eating.

Peter: Then what is it about?  Get to the point.

Patsy: I want to be seen with you.  Outside so that people know we are a couple.

Peter: I’m sure people know that.  Now is that all?

Patsy: No.

Peter: Then what else is there?

Patsy: I know I said I wanted to wait until our wedding night for me to give myself to you but I realize now how foolish I’m being.  I love you, Peter, and I know you love me and if we could just–

Peter: Just what?

Patsy: Well you know if you could hold and kiss me and make love to me–

Peter: Here?  In the office?

Patsy: I don’t care.  Anywhere.

Peter: Anywhere is it?  Maybe I should take you outside and ravage you in the streets for all of Briarwood to see!

Patsy: Yes why don’t you?

Peter: Patricia Ann Brewster!  Get a hold of yourself.  You leave this office a sensible woman and come back a wanton slut.  How much wine did you consume at Rocco’s?

Patsy: I only had a glass or two.

Peter: A glass or two, is it?  At lunch time from which you were late coming back.

Patsy: So what?  Who cares?  I love you, Peter.  Do you love me?

Peter: Of course I do.

Patsy: Then say it.  Say that you love me and only me.  Say it.

Peter: Patsy, your overwrought.  I’m taking you home.  You are obviously not fit to drive.

Patsy: I don’t want go home.  I want to be with you.

Peter: You have made that perfectly clear but may I remind you this is a place of business.

Patsy: I know it’s a place of business after all my Daddy owns it.

Peter: I’m well aware who owns it.

Patsy: I don’t think you are.

Peter: Just what is that supposed to mean?

Patsy: It means you treat like some of kind of slave when it’s my Daddy’s law firm.  He’s the one who started this law practice.

Peter: My name is on the sign as well.  I am a partner here.

Patsy: Not an equal one.  Daddy is a Judge and you are only a lawyer and only here because your my fiancee.

Peter: Are you saying that I am only here because I am engaged to the Judge’s daughter?  Is that what you’re implying?  That I am beholding to the you for my employment when in fact I am the reason this law firm is still operating.  I have been handling all the cases ever since the Judge’s stroke and, if we’re being honest, well before that.

Patsy: I know you have been, Petey, and I’m sorry for saying that.

Peter: Petey, is it?

Patsy: Well you like it when I call you that.

Peter: Actually I don’t.  I pretend to like it because you like calling me it but now that you’ve told me how worthless I am–

Patsy: I never said you were worthless.  Oh, maybe you’re right.  Maybe I am drunk.  I don’t know what I’m saying.  Please, Peter, take me home.

Peter: I think that’s best.

Patsy: You don’t hate me, Peter, do you?  Say you don’t hate me.  I’d just die if you hated me.

Peter: You’ve given me a lot to digest.  Let’s not talk of it right now.  Come on.  I’ll take you home.

Close up of a shattered Patsy

CUT-TO: Close up of Paris.

Paris: You are one of the most handsomest men I have ever met.

Pull back to show that we are in Jim’s living room.

Jim: One of them?  (Looking into the mirror) Are you sure I’m not the handsomest?

Paris: You are and you’re definitely the oldest one I ever dated.

Jim: (Laughs): First I’m ugly and then I’m old.

Paris: What I mean is I like older men.

Jim: I’m that old.

Paris: I guess I’m just saying it all wrong.

Jim: What other old men do you know and like?

Paris: None.  Except for my Grandfather.

Jim: The Judge?  You like Judge Brewster?

Paris: Yes.

Jim: I didn’t think you knew you’re Grandfather that well.

Paris: I don’t.  I mean I didn’t.

Jim: Until?

Paris: Until today.  He was sitting there in his wheelchair in that room where we first met.  When you pulled Jeff off of me.

Jim: The drawing-room.

Paris: Right.  Anyway he told me to come into the room and told that gargoyle to leave and she closed the doors and he started talking about my Grandmother and showing me photos from a scrapbook.  He said I looked identical to her.  Do I?

Jim: How would I know?  I never met your Grandmother.

Paris: I thought you might have seen her in Briarwood or something.

Jim: No.  My older brother Peter lived on a houseboat with my father who was a fisherman.  We only left the houseboat for school.  We never stayed in Briarwood every long.

Paris: What about your mother?

Jim: What about her?  She left when I was little and I never from her ever again.

Paris: You sound bitter.

Jim: Not at all.  I’m beyond the age of missing my Mommy.

Paris: Speaking of Mother’s I better get home or mine will start asking where I am and who I was with blah blah blah.

Jim: And I’d better get to the hospital.  I’m on the night shift.

Paris: So I won’t be able to see you at all tonight?  What happens if I get the urge?

Jim: What urge?

Paris: To see you?

Jim: Nights are very slow at Briarwood Hospital.  I might be able to slip out for an hour or two.

They passionately kiss.

CUT-TO: Interior.  Briarcliff. Drawing room. Amy is dusting and cleaning while Simon watches.

Amy: Does it meet your approval?

Simon purrs.

Patsy comes running in the foyer as Amy goes to her as Patsy heads for the stairs.

Amy: Patsy–what are you doing–

Patsy: Just leave me alone!  Leave me alone!  (Racing up the stairs hysterical.)

Roxann: (Enters; To Amy): What are you looking at?

Amy: Where have you been?

Roxann: Out pounding rocks with my hammer, Warden.  So how are things inside the prison?

Amy: If you feel like it’s a prison why do you remain?

Roxann: Because I’m a masochist.  (Pours herself a drink.) I saw Patsy coming in.  Is she all right?  She looked upset.

Amy: She is.  Said something about leaving her alone and ran upstairs in tears.  She is so weak.

Roxann: We can’t all be tough as nails like you.

Amy: You manage to be.

Roxann: Damn right I do especially around you.

Amy: You might want to sharpen those nails.

Roxann: What for?

Amy: I believe you in for a fight or should I say another fight with your Father.

Roxann: You stay out of my business with the Judge.

Amy: I will.

Roxann: Yeah, right.

Amy: It’s just if I were a mother–

Roxann: Yeah well you’re not.

Amy: No I’m not but if I were I’d watch out for my daughter especially around your Father.

Roxann: What does my daughter have to do with the Judge?

Amy: I’d tell you but you never listen to anything I have to say so you’ll have to ask her yourself.  (As Paris enters) Here she is now.  Ask her.

Paris: (Seeing Amy and then Roxann): What did I do now?

Fade to Black


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