June Misbehaves

Episode 4

Fade In: Exterior.  11 PM.  June’s house.  We see lights on inside the house as we dissolve slowly into the living room and kitchen and foyer of the house.  Cast and crew members from ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’ are milling about, talking, laughing eating food and drinking as June is looking at everything to make sure it’s right and Edna is making sure there’s enough cheese dip and Sheila is sitting on the couch with Jack.

June: (To Sheila): Do you think’s there enough to eat?

Sheila: Everything’s great, June.

Jack: Just great.  Don’t worry about it.

(Seymour makes his grand entrance with Gerard following.)

Seymour: My life is ruined tonight!  RUINED!  DESTROYED!  ANNIHILATED!

Sheila: Don’t get your panties in a twist.  Your life wasn’t so hot before tonight.

Seymour: I can never show my face again in Glendale after that disaster.

Jack: What disaster?  I thought it was very funny.

(Seymour wails.)

June: I don’t think ‘Streetcar’ is supposed to be funny, Jack.

Jack: I don’t care what anybody says.  Nothing can ever be funnier than when stick boy Gerard yelled Stella and tried to rip off his T Shirt and he ain’t got no muscles so all he could do give it a little rip around the neck.  For the rest of the show he just kept trying to rip it off.  You’re funnier than Gleason, Gerard.  (He slaps Gerard on the back and Gerard goes flying.)

June: Oh!

Sheila: Jack, be careful.  June has nice things.

Jack: Sorry.

June: That’s  all right.

Jack: Hey, June, why don’t I get you a drink, huh? Sheila, you want one?

Sheila: Sure.

June: Are you all right, Gerard.

Gerard: (Mumbles): I’m fine.

Seymour: I can never show my face in Glendale again.

Sheila: Well at least something good came out of this.

Seymour: Sheila, I will thank you to not mock me tonight.

Sheila: Who was mocking?  I was dead serious.

Jack: (Handing the drinks to June and Sheila): Here you go, girls.

Seymour: Mother was there tonight.  When the show was over she couldn’t even look at me she was so embarrassed.

Sheila: You mean you run around Glendale wearing a cape and this is what embarrasses her?

Jack: Sheila, lay off.  Seymour, what do you want to drink? We got beer, whiskey, wine–

Seymour: I don’t usually drink but after tonight I will drink and never stop.  Jack, make me a mint julip.

(Jack shrugs at Sheila and June.)

June: Well I for one had a wonderful time.  Truly I did.  I made new friends.  I learned I’m not an actress but it got me out of the house and for that I will always be grateful to The Glendale Players and to you in particular, Seymour.

Seymour: Well that was very kind thing for to say, June, and you’re right.  You’re not an actress.  (Jack hands him a beer.) This isn’t a mint julip.

Jack: Shut up and drink it.  It’ll grow hair on your chest. (Seymour hesitates.) I said drink it.  (Seymour drinks it.)

Edna: And the other good thing that came out it is we made a lot of money for The Boys and Girls Clubs of Glendale.

(There’s a knock on the door and the door opens.  Enters Earl Porter, handsome, muscular, 40s.  Jack and Sheila’s friend.)

Earl: Jack!  Sheila, you were fantastic and (To June) you, little lady, you stole the whole show.  (He lifts June up.)

June: Oh, thank you.

Jack: Earl!

Sheila: Earl, put her down.  (He gently puts her down.)

June: I’m sorry have we–

Sheila: This is Jack’s friend, Earl Porter.

Earl: Pleased to meet you Mrs. Baylor.

June: Pleased to meet you, Mister Porter.

Earl: Earl.  My friends call me Earl.  (Jack hands him a beer.)  What happened to that Southern accent you had?

June: I only did that for the play.  I don’t have a Southern accent.

Earl: Well you coulda fooled me.  (To Seymour) Hey, you were the director, right?

Seymour: (Feeling the beer): Unfortunately.

Earl: Make sure that from now on you put Mrs. Baylor–

June: June.

Earl: June.  Make sure you put June in all your plays.

Seymour: For your information, Sir, Mrs. Baylor and I have both agreed that she is not an actress and I only deal with people who can act.

Earl: Listen, Mister, you keep putting beauties like Sheila and June in your shows but if you don’t nobody’s going to come.

Seymour: No one tells the great Seymour Field how to run his theater.  Did people tell Picasso what to do?

Sheila: No and looked how he turned out.

Earl: Hey I’m not going to argue with you about, pal.  It’s just that when men are dragged to the theater they like something to look at.

(June smiles timidly.)

(We see the Grandfather clock now reads 2 AM and people have already left or are leaving the party.  All that’s left are Sheila, Jack, June, Edna, and Earl.  Sheila and June are cleaning up as Edna, Jack, and Earl are feeling no pain.)

Earl: Go ahead, lady, show us again the place where you died you know as you know-

Edna: Cleopatra?

Earl: Yeah.  Do your death scene again.

Edna: Well if you’re really sure.

Jack: Sure.  Anything’s good for a laugh.

CUT-TO: Interior.  June’s kitchen.  June and Sheila enter on Jack’s last line.

Sheila: So whaddya think?

June: I think the play was a disaster.  I think everyone had a good time.  I’m glad everyone liked Edna’s cheese dip–

Sheila: June, come on.  It’s me. Sheila.

June: I know who you are.

Sheila: What did you think of Earl?

June: He’s nice.

Sheila: Nice?  He’s a hunk.

June: Walter was big like him not as muscular but handsome and big like him.

Sheila: I know.  You showed me pictures of Walter but, honey, Walter died eight months ago.

June: (Outburst): I know when my husband died, Sheila.  Don’t you think I know that?

Sheila: I’m sorry.

June: No I am.  I’m just tired you know and kinda sad because now that the play is over we won’t be seeing as much of each other.

Sheila: But there’s always Edna.

June: I’m serious.  I mean I know the play was terrible and we were probably terrible in it but it gave me something to do some reason to get up and get out of this house.  Now what do I have?

Sheila: Hey, listen, you got me and Jack.  I know when people do plays they usually become fast friends while it’s going on and then you never see them and most of them like Seymour you’re glad to not see again but I think we’ve become friends real friends Christ I’m getting all sappy and sentimental.

(They embrace.  Jack and Earl enter laughing.)

Jack: Hey what are you girls doing?

(Sheila and June break up and Jack moves over and hugs Sheila.)

June: Where’s Edna?

Earl: She was in the middle of doing her Cleopatra speech and then she passed out.  At least we think she passed out.  So what do you girls say?  Chinks?

Sheila: Now?  No we gotta get home.  My Mother probably killed the boys or they killed her.

Jack: (Happy): You think so?

Sheila: Come, Jack, let’s go.  Goodnight, June.  Sorry to leave you with such a mess.

June: Don’t worry.

Earl: So um, Mrs. Baylor–

June: June, please.

Earl: June, I hope you don’t mind me crashing your party.

June: Not at all.

Earl: I’m sorry about your husband.  Sheila told me.

June: Thank you.

Earl: So Chinks, huh?

Sheila: Earl, I just said–

Earl: No not now but how about tomorrow night?  The four of us?

Sheila & Jack: Sure/yeah/why not?

Earl: June?  You know as a group?

June: (Hesitates): Well I do have to eat so yes I’d like that.  I’d like that very much.

(June smiles timidly.)

Fade to Black
















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